"Hell" explained by a Chemistry student 「地獄」的化學解釋

Received the following story from a humanist email list.  Later, someone points out that this story might be some 20 years old.  Anyway, the student's remark is so simple and so true:

"Most...religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell."


從一個人文主義電郵清單收到以下的故事。後來有人指出這是二十年前的故事。無論如何，該學生的這句評論很簡單，很真：

「世上一般的大宗教都說你不信它便下地獄。由於世上多過一個這樣的宗教，加上一個人不會信多過一個宗教，所以可以推斷世上所有人都落地獄。」


> HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
>
> The following is an actual question given on a University of
> Washington chemistry midterm.
>
>    The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
> shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
> why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)?
>        Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
> Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
> compressed) or some variant.  One student, however, wrote the
> following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
> we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
> the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
> assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
> no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
> let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
> Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
> religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
> these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
> religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
> death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
> to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
> the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
> Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
> souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
> increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
> in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
> freezes over.
>
> So which is it?  If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
> during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before
> I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with
> her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
> that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
> of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
> it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
> a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
> 'Oh my God.'
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.